Wedding Planning 101: How to Find the Right Venue for You
On December 15, 2018, Ronnie proposed to me.
It’s been 3 months and just typing that made me tear up… I imagine the emotional response goes away over time?!
It was the perfect proposal and maybe I’ll share the details with you all one day, but today I wanted to talk to you all about picking the perfect wedding venue for you. We decided to get married in San Diego, Ronnie’s hometown, and started looking at venues there about a month after we got engaged.
There are SO MANY checklists out there on what to think about and what to ask, but I honestly found many of them lacking. I wanted to share my tips in hopes of helping future brides-to-be!
Start with your guest list
You need to have an idea of how many people you expect to invite before you even think about venues. In our case, drafting our guest list eliminated a lot of places - both too small and too big - that I’m glad we didn’t waste time visiting. There is a big chance you will underestimate how many people you will invite so it's good to get it on paper and discuss it with your SO and family first.
Set a budget
This is seriously so insanely hard, especially when you have no idea how much stuff will cost yet, but make sure you at least have an idea of the maximum amount you want to spend all in. Then start doing research on how much vendors in your area will likely cost - photography, decor, floral design, cake, furniture rental, music, videographer etc. and you will be able to back into how much you want to spend on venue rental and catering. To get an idea, I used weddingwire.com to get estimates on vendors and I bought The Wedding Book by Mindy Weiss which has great guidelines on what % of your total budget you should allocate to everything.
We estimated our venue rental, food and drinks would be about 40-45% of our total budget.
Similar to the guest list, having an idea of our budget ensured we didn’t visit places that we really couldn’t afford which saved us a lot of time!
Search for venues online, put together a comprehensive list and start reaching out
We searched theknot.com and venuereport.com for venue ideas and put together a comprehensive list of all the places we liked that had capacity large enough for all our guests and that fell within our budget. I also started searching Instagram for photos of venues in San Diego which is actually how I found our venue.
After we had a long list, I drafted emails to all of them that said something like this:
We are very interested in your venue for our wedding in [month, year]. Can you please provide us with your wedding packages, pricing, additional photos of both the ceremony and reception spaces as well as your Saturday availability? Thank you!
Almost every venue sent me back a templated email, so don’t spend a ton of time drafting your initial email to them. It’s the follow-up email where you will actually get the info you’re requesting. Once you review the packages you will get a sense of what is included. Be aware that some venues are full-service and provide everything from catering to decor to music while others may just provide you with the space. Be sure to price everything out - for example, if the venue provides chairs, ask to see a picture of them since you may need to pay for an upgrade, and if you reach out to rental companies about tables, chairs, linens, etc. make sure you ask them to include delivery and setup costs in their estimate back to you.
Schedule tours and know what you're looking for
Since we don’t live in the city we are getting married in, I scheduled venue tours over a long weekend when we would be in town. Here are the things I knew I was looking for in a venue:
Good setup and flow
I wanted to be able to envision how the evening would flow. It was important to me that there weren’t any obstructions in the room so everyone would feel involved and I wanted to be able to envision where people would eat, grab a drink and dance. There were some venues that would require us to move the entire wedding after dinner to another area for dancing, which I knew wouldn’t work for our guests
Lighting
I really wanted windows for natural light when the sun is out and then chandeliers that suited my style in the evening. Lighting not only has a huge influence on the wedding vibe, but it also really impacts your photography and videography
Privacy
We learned after visiting a lot of venues that privacy was really important to us. There are a lot of beautiful public parks and hotels that would have been amazing for a ceremony, but both of us agreed we wanted our wedding to be intimate and only our guests to be there. If you choose to get married in a public place, I would consider hiring security to keep away any wedding crashers
That gut feeling that it was the place for us
Ok so lame, but also so true, you will just know when you have found the right venue. When we toured ours, we just knew it was exactly what we wanted. It was also the first one we visited!
Make sure you ask thorough questions
I laugh at the end of most of our calls with vendors these days since almost all of them have “complimented” us on how many questions we ask. I’m sure we are actually really annoying, but I like to be thorough and well informed when making a decision :)
Here are the things I made sure I knew about every venue we were seriously considering:
Recommended capacity
You want your guests to be comfortable and some places just tell you the fire code capacity. Get their thoughts on what size really works best in the space based on your desired setup (e.g. round tables, buffet, etc.)
Approved vendors
Some places have an approved list you need to choose from, others have specific requirements vendors need to meet. Make sure you know the restrictions upfront
Noise restrictions
We were shocked to learn that some venues we looked at only allowed acoustic, non-amplified music after 8pm. Glad we asked since this was a dealbreaker for us! Also, by asking about this a few venues disclosed that neighbors regularly showed up to weddings and complained about the noise. Not something I wanted to deal with on my wedding day
Photography/Videography restrictions
This generally applied to museums as many don’t allow flash photography
Bad weather plan
This was huge for us since we were looking in San Diego where the weather is almost always sunny, but the month we are getting married is actually when it is most likely to rain. A lot of the backup plans were that we would have to pay around $15k for a tent last minute if it rained (yikes!)
Smoking restrictions
We really wanted to bring in a cigar roller for our wedding since Ronnie is a cigar aficionado - most places did not allow smoking anywhere on or around their property
Bathrooms
My fiance and mom thought I was crazy when I was adamant about checking out the bathroom situation at every venue we visited, but there is nothing worse than attending a wedding in your formal attire and having to use a dirty bathroom. There were a lot of public parks that I LOVED but had to eliminate for this reason
Setup times
Be aware of when you / your vendors can get in to start setting up the day of the wedding
Permits required
If you need them, usually if you want a ceremony on the beach or in a public park, make sure you are clear on who takes responsibility for pulling them and how much time it usually takes
Other weddings that day
Find out if there will be another wedding there the same day, and if so, ask exactly where it will be. Some hotels will host more than one wedding at a time, so if this is something you are okay with, at a minimum you will know if you require extra signage to ensure your guests make it to the right one
Suites for Bride & Groom to get ready in
Some venues offer rooms for the bride and groom, as well as any of their guests, to get ready in. It’s a great perk if the room is nice and could help you save money on an expensive hotel suite
Plates, glassware, chairs, linens
Make sure you actually look at them since an upgrade can end up costing a lot so you want to plan accordingly
Turnover time between ceremony and reception
If you are hosting both the ceremony and reception at the same place, find out how long it will take for the room to be turned. I recommend only going with a venue that can turn it over in 60 minutes or less so you don’t end up with a really long cocktail hour
Parking
Find out if there is parking available or if you will need to arrange for valet parking
Power
Make sure the space has the power you need for lighting, music, etc. Some spaces require you to bring in a generator
Payment
Ask about what the deposit is, when the full balance is due and what the cancelation policy is. It also helps to find out the form of payment the venue will take
Below are photos of the venue that we chose and also some photos of other venues we visited!
